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Unintentional Consequences of Social Media Clash with Appropriate Classroom Behavior

March 21, 2018 By Personal thoughts and beliefs of E.B.Shrager - do not represent those of any past or current employer.

Don’t blame the parents or the students! Blame social media surrounding our middle school students with the belief that every opinion is important and demanding of immediate attention.  The village needs to directly teach children and their parents to stop this or else the students will not deserve an excellent Teacher Evaluation when applying to colleges.

In case the parents don’t know, over 700 universities accept the Common Application. Its Teacher Evaluation will be important and students really don’t know who in their senior year they will be asking to complete it.  Acting like  jerks in ninth grade study hall may prevent students from getting the kind of recommendation they need. I described this in detail in books for parents and a book for teachers.  If you want the whole explanation and create a paradigm shift with your community, consider using these books: Seventh Grade Guide  Sixth Grade Guide  Teacher Dialogues

But if you just want the 10 minute explanation it goes like this.  Pick a time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your class.  Explain that their speaking out, whining, and interrupting, is becoming a habit that must now be broken in middle school because their high school teachers will be judging them and evaluating them.  Even if they think they will grow up when they are juniors – their senior teachers may have had them in a study hall or lunch room duty when they were freshmen.  Even if they are marked as being good – they are in column 5 of 7 – and not the best candidates.  The margin is very slender.  Show them the four areas indicated with the arrows that concern you.  Tell them that they have a great future, but not if they don’t have the social skills desired by adults writing and reading the college applications.

This usually stops students and parents.  I tell them that I will do my job by reminding them with the words, “social skills alert” meaning their lack of appropriate social skills is a problem.  I call their parents and tell them that I am doing this to help them and ask for their help.  I assure the students and their parents that this is so important that I am willing to assign detentions and work with their parents to get them back on track.

As for Spanish class, I have created three musical videos to demonstrate these skills.  The first is how to treat a new student in class.  The second is how to write an email to a teacher, and the third is the most important, asking if now is a good time before just talking at the teacher with different requests.

As

As I write these words in March, I see many teachers writing about classroom management beginning to unravel. Point systems are all about external validation that quickly loses its attraction and the external rewards need to be upped as time goes on. There is no magic bullet that will last the year. External rewards only last so long.

But internal validation is something else.  It’s about catching their vision of who they want to be and showing how developing self-discipline will get them there.  Connect with your students by sharing this information with them and their parents and relating their behavior choices to their future ability to have the things they want and the lifestyle they deserve.

Filed Under: Classroom Management, Difficult Class, Improve Class Behavior, Out-of-Control Class, Reflective Teacher, Regain Control of Class, Take Charge of That Class Tagged With: classroom behavior, classroom management, Spanish class, teacher dialogue with student

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Stopping Student Swearing and Being Disrespectful for Attention

September 9, 2015 By Personal thoughts and beliefs of E.B.Shrager - do not represent those of any past or current employer.

Advice for Stopping Student Swearing and Being Disrespectful in Class
Advice for Stopping Student Swearing and Being Disrespectful in Class

Recently on FLTEACH, a teacher, Joe, asked advice for dealing with a sophomore who swears and is disrespectful in order to get attention. Bill Heller responded with different books including my “Teacher Dialogues.” Joe still isn’t sure how to create a dialogue with this student because of their strained relationship and feared that it would be awkward to probe into the student’s life to figure out what was going on with the student.

Here is my advice:

Joe, we are constantly refining “our teaching voices” because they change with our own life experiences that we bring to the classroom.

As I approach 60, my teaching voice is blended with grandmotherly concern, so my dialogue would most likely be like this:

“I am concerned for you. I’ve taught thousands of students and some of them are now 40 and I keep up with them. Through them. I’ve learned the importance of keeping all options open for a great life.

One way to do this is to be hired for interesting jobs and the folks hiring are the older folks who usually offer jobs to people who know how to be appropriate. This habit of swearing is obviously serving the 16 year old version of (kid’s name) but will it serve the 25 year old version of yourself?

Probably not.

It’s easy to let swearing slip at the wrong moment, especially if you are anxious during a job interview.

As one of the adults in your life, I feel responsible for helping you to be the best version of yourself and to help you to eliminate swearing in my class as an exercise in self-discipline and as a commitment to the vision of the great man you can be.

Maybe if you help me to understand how swearing and being disrespectful in my class helps you now to get through my class, we can brainstorm other ways to meet your needs.”

I would have this conversation privately and I would make sure that I flushed from my attitude   any residual resentment towards this student before starting the dialogue.  I would make sure I was full of sincere concern so that my tone reflects my words.

Joe, I hope you can use this as a springboard for crafting your own dialogue.  Good luck!

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Classroom Management, Difficult Class, Uncategorized Tagged With: classroom management, student being disrespectful, student is disrespectful, student swearing, teacher dialogue with student

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